I was fortunate and grew up in a very sex positive household. Our coffee table books were the Kama Sutra, The Joy of Sex, 101 Sexual Positions (needless to say, my friends loved coming over to my house). I have a very distinct and embedded memory of my mother sitting me on the floor with her legs spread showing me each and every part of her yoni (sex). I’m guessing I was about 8 years old at the time. Right about that same age our family became naturists. We spent many weekends touring California visiting the naturist clubs and beaches. We brought our family friends and introduced many people to the naturist community. As a result I am very comfortable in my body and being naked in front of others, despite having issues about my physicality. Sex was never discouraged or shamed and we were encouraged to bring dates home rather than be in the backseat of a car (although that worked well a few times – since I had a VW van).
In high school my parents announced to us that they had an open relationship. They divorced my senior year in high school. My Dad immediately got remarried to my girlfriend’s mother. My girlfriend instantly became my step-sister. We all moved in together. It was the Brady Bunch (American TV show) with benefits.
I began dating my wife in 1981 and we married in 1984. I received my B.A. in Business Economics from the University of California at Santa Barbara. After graduating in 1981, I entered the investment advisory and financial planning industry. I registered with the Security Exchange Commission as an investment advisor and earned my Certified Financial Planner designation in 1983 from the University of Southern California.
In the 1980’s I attended numerous professional development programs, such as Wilson Learning, Tommy Hopkins, Zig Zeigler and then Steven Covey’s book The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People came out. This book was the basis for Microsoft’s original calendaring program called Schedule + and remains embedded functionally in Microsoft Outlook. I’ve used the Seven Habits in my professional career as a training tool for my staff for the past 16 years. I also used it in our family dynamics, teaching communication and relationship skills and character development to my daughter.
I remained in the financial services industry, managing financial and real property assets for pension, profit sharing and individual accounts until 1989 when I and my wife went on an extended world traveling tour for almost 2 years.
This traveling tour ended with our relocation to Hawaii in 1991 where my family resided. My mother and father (with his new wife) separately moved to Hawaii.
Over the past 24 years I have worked in the residential community association management market, applying my past knowledge of financial and administrative management to the various community associations I have served. I won the Residential Energy Conservation award from Hawaiian Electric Industries in 1998 and 2004 (the only person to win it twice), saving the Associations over $8,500,000 in annual operating costs. I earned my Professional Community Association Management (PCAM) designation in 2005 from the Community Associations Institute and was certified as a Construction Documents Technologist from the Construction Specifications Institute in 2003. I am a regular contributor to professional magazines writing articles on energy conservation and financial management. I am a featured speaker at industry educational programs (most recently Ask the Experts – presentation to 300 persons). I also teach classes to peers on building operations and management practices.
For the past 16 years I have been the General Manager of Hawaiki Tower. I am responsible for all aspects of the property’s operations, overseeing a staff of 30 employees charged with maintaining a $600 million asset and administering a $3.8 million annual budget.
I have always been physically active, athletic and health conscious. I am first a volleyball player, then a water and snow skier, then a soccer (football) player and then due to injuries, a surfer. I surf all over the world. I train my body regularly, swimming 3-5 miles a week, practicing yoga, weight training and surfing regularly during the winter months (Sept-May) on the North Shore of Hawaii, which is the surfing capital of the world, where the waves are the biggest and most powerful. I am a vegetarian.
After being married for 20 + years and having birthed a daughter, I realized I needed something more in my relationship to carry me through the next twenty to thirty years. I began to practice Tantra in 2004. I bought a video (a woman from Maui – I forget her name right now) and Margo’s Annand’s Book – The Art of Sexual Ecstasy. I immediately bought the female ejaculation book and my wife Debbie learned that skill quickly. We practiced all of that for years. I forget when exactly I joined One Tantra (A forum for Dakas and Dakinis). That was Moses Ma and Adam Gilad’s website. I downloaded everything from that site and practiced it all too. I downloaded many DVDs, watched youtube videos, read books and immersed myself in the practice of tantra. I have never been particularly interested in the history of tantra. I don’t care about any one path. I like to use anything that works for me!
A couple of years ago I decide to formalize my tantra practice so I could teach others. I feel that practicing tantra is such a value to me and in my relationships that I felt compelled to share that with others and build community on Oahu. That’s when I began to obtain my Certified Tantra Educator credentials.
My personal mission statement:
“I create a world of love by loving myself and extending that love into everything I do and to everyone I meet.”
So you can get an idea of the literature I’ve consumed over the years I compiled the following book list.
I just went through my shelf in the living room.
- Seven Habits of Highly Successful People, Stephen Covey
- Tickle His Pickle, Sadie Allison
- Female Ejaculation, Deborah Sundahl
- The Kama Sutra
- The Joy of Sex, Alex Comfort
- 101 Sexual Positions, Elizabeth Fairchild
- The Art of Sexual Ecstasy, Margo Anand
- The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory, Open Relationships & Other Adventures by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy
- Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg and Arun Gandhi
- Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, Byron Katie and Stephen Mitchell
- Undefended Love by Jett Psaris and Marlena S. Lyons
- Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino
Attached, Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
- Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá
- Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert A. Heinlein
- Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits: Secrets of Sustainable Intimate Relationships
- Polyamory Roadmap: Negotiate Open Relationship Rules with More Pleasure and Less Heartache (from the Sacred Sexual Healing Series by Baba Dez and Kamala Devi)
- Earning Your Black Belt in Relationships: Get Intimate Power Now by Learning 10 Secret
- Exercises of Ethical Non-Monogamous Ninjas by Kamala Devi and Reid Mihalko (DVD)
- Daring Greatly, Brene Brown
- Mystery of Love, Marc Gafni
- Blue Truth, David Deida
- The Diary of Anais Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934, Anais Nin
- Choose Yourself, James Altucher
- The Dying Animal, The Humbling, The Human Stain, all by Phillip Roth
- Best Women’s Erotica, 2011, Violet Blue
- Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, Kamal Ravikant
- The Alchemist, Paolo Coelho
- Radical Honesty, Brad BlantonTaoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, Mantak Chia
- Churchill, Paul Johnson
- Spiritual Warfare, Jed McKenna
- Your Unique Self, The Radical Path to Spiritual Enlightenment, Marc Gafni
- The Great Game of Business, Jack Spack
- Stop in the Name of Love, Paul Sterling
- The Artists Way, Julia Cameron
- The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners, Charlie Glickman
- Emotions: Freedom From Anger, Jealousy and Fear, Osho
- Sex Matters, Osho
- The Expert Guide to Pegging, Tristan Taormino
- Tantric Sex for Men: Making Love a Meditation, Diana Richardson
- Your Unique Self: A Radical Path to Personal Enlightenment, Marc Gafni
- Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty First Century, Barbara Carrellas
- The Essential Tantra: A Modern Guide to Sacred Sexuality, Kenneth Ray Stubbs
- The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life, Daniel Amen
- The Enlightened Sex Manual: Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover, David Deida
- Emotional Genius, Discovering the Deepest Language of the Soul, Karla McLaren
- The Language of Emotions: What Your Emotions are Trying to Tell You, Karla McLaren
- The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women,Work and Sexual Desire, David Deida
- Instant Enlightenment: Fast, Deep and Sexy, David Deida
- Keys to the Kingdom, Alison Armstrong
- Communion: Awakening Your Sexual Essence, David Deida
- Becoming an Empath: How to Develop the Power of Your Emotional Intuition, Karla McLaren
- Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sex Life, Mark Michaels
- Emerging: The Journey of Personal Healing, Barbara Brennan
- Chakra Balancing, Judith Anodea
- Hands of Light: A Guide to Healing Through the Human Energy Field, Barbara Brennan
- The Adventurous Couples Guide to Strap-On Sex, Violet Blue
- Secrets about Men Every Woman Should Know, Barbara De Angelis
- Pegging for Beginners and Experts, Lugh Aonghus
- Got Milked? How to do a Prostate Massage (Milking) for Sexual Fulfillment, Jani
Fire on the Mountain: An Intimate Guide to Male Genital Massage, Joseph Kramer
- Finite and Infinite Games, James Carse
- Exercises for Individual and Group Development: Building Blocks for Intimacy, Awareness and Community, Charlie Bufe
- Are You the One for Me? Barbara DeAngelis
- The Brain in Love, Daniel Amen
- The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy is as Necessary as Love and Sex, David Buss
- Women’s Anatomy of Arousal, Sheri Winston
- Sex and Happiness: The Tantric Laws of Intimacy, Laurie Handlers
- The Queen’s Code, Alison Armstrong
- Eastern Body Western Mind, Anodea Judith
- Creative Visualization, Shakti Gawain
- Boundaries, Cloud and Townsend
- E Squared, Pam Grout
- The Amazing Power of Deliberate Intent, Ester and Jerry Hicks
- The Power of Intention, Wayne Dyer
- In an Unspoken Voice, Peter Levine
- Dancing the Dream, Jamie Sams
- Giant Steps, Barry Kaufmann
- The Tao of Equus, Linda Kohanov
- Riding Between the Worlds, Linda Kohanov
- Growing Yourself Back Up, John Lee
- Facing the Fire, John Lee
- Raising Great Kids, Cloud and Townsend
- Mastery of Awareness, Bernadette Vigil
- Rolfing:Reestablishing the Natural Alignment and Structural Integration of the Human Body for Vitality and Well-Being, Ida Rolf
- The World’s Best Massage Techniques, The Complete Illustrated Guide: Innovative
- Bodywork Practices From Around the Globe for Pleasure, Relaxation, and Pain Relief, Victoria Stone
- Essential Oils: Essential Oil Massage Techniques For Beginners: Prevent Headaches, Relieve Stress And Promote Relaxation (Essential Oils And Aromatherapy, Amy Joyson
- The Complete Reflexology Tutor: Everything You Need to Achieve Professional Expertise, Ann Gillanders
- The Original Reiki Handbook of Dr. Mikao Usui, Usui, Mikao
Recent Personal Growth Seminars/Training/Teaching: Past 24 months
Oct 2013 – Poly-Palooza – Four day residential retreat in Desert Hot Springs, CA – all day workshops on relationship, communication, tantra, etc.
Dec 2014/Jan 2014 – Manifesting the New You in the New Year through Sex Magic – Four day residential retreat in Harbin Hot Springs, CA – all day workshops on relationship, communication, tantra – primary focus was Explosive Sexual Healing with G-Spot Orgasm taught by Ben and Jen Rode
Feb 2014 – ZEGG Forum Facilitator Training – four day retreat in San Diego, CA
Feb 2014 – Network for New Culture, Infinite and Finite Games – Three day weekend retreat in Kaneohe, HI
April 2014 – Source Tantra: Beginner’s Weekend – Three day residential retreat in Boulder Creek, CA
June/July 2014 – Source Tantra: Level 1 – Certified Tantra Educator Training – 12 day residential retreat in Boulder Creek, CA